Swiss people (and your) party.

AuteurDe Faoite, Diarmuid
Fonction Humour

English-speakers over here often claim that it is difficult to get to know their Swiss neighbours. The classic excuse of borrowing a cup of sugar or flour just never arises, as the people next door have enough provisions down in their cellar to last them for several years. There's only one sure-fire way to get the people in your building to talk to you (usually at high volume)--and that's to hold a party!

I do wonder about the tip always given to those planning to have a get-together in their house: "Put up a note to warn your neighbours that you're throwing a party. Invite them too. This is the only way you can avoid possible conflict."

I wonder what they expect to happen? The party is in full swing and suddenly the door opens: "Hey, it's Frau Meier from the 2nd floor who never speaks to me; in fact, she usually glowers at me in the stairwell because I sometimes chain my bike to the railing out front. She often leaves not-so-nice notes in my letterbox because of all my other minor rule infractions. You'll have a beer won't you Frau Meier?" ... Yeah! This party is rocking. Wow, now Frau Meier is rolling some herbal fun, while the crazy cat woman from the top floor is doing some dirty dancing with my best friend. Who'd a thunk this building could be P-A-R-T-Y central???"

Reality bites

In reality of course, all you are doing by putting up a note like that is priming your embittered neighbours to sit in stony silence in their apartment waiting to hear noise after 10 p.m. It's like you're tipping them off to be their extra-grouchy selves that night. My advice--this is one time that it doesn't pay to advertise!

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

In fact, you just know that many Swiss...

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