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Exploring Swiss flats: Switzerland may be in Europe, but adjusting to its idiosyncrasies can involve changing everything you ever thought to be true. For example, the days of the week in my house now go like this: Monday, Tuesday, Washday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Zopfday.

Document Cited in Related
Vincent
AuteurDe Faoite, Diarmuid
Fonction Humour

A lot of countries obsess about home ownership. Not here. Instead, Swiss TV and magazines are crazy about showing you the inside of other people's rented apartments. Rented! What's that all about? They are really flaunting the fact they live in a nice flat owned by someone else ... which is a squatter's perspective to be honest.

A Swiss secret

Swiss people are convinced that the perfect property is out there (in a tax-friendly town), and the only way they will ever get it is through "Vitamin B". Don't be confused. They don't think that popping pills is the answer to their housing problems. The "B" in Vitamin B stands for the German word Beziehung--and refers to the personal connections you need in order to get strings pulled and backs scratched.

To be honest, you're probably wasting your time by searching the newspaper adverts for the ideal home, because the best ones never make it that far (however, there are pages and pages of ads from women who will scratch your back and more--without the aid of vitamins--if you're into that kind of thing!).

April 1, July 1 and October 1 are the official moving days in many parts of the country. This means the removal companies are very busy for three weekends a year and sit around for the rest of the time. Now that sounds like my kind of job!

Every flat has one

The building my flat is in conforms to the highest Swiss building standards. By this, I mean it contains a bomb shelter, a letterbox with two compartments and the archetypal, nosey neighbour--generally female--who is fervent in their need to complain about something at all times. The only things left...

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