Helvetia's ambassadors: summer is upon us, and for anybody not on holiday already (or just back after the latest trip), thoughts are firmly on the vacation season. But, as contributor Helena Bachmann discovers, even if you can (in some cases) take the Swiss out of Switzerland, taking Switzerland out of the Swiss is another matter entirely ...
Based on my own observational experience, Swiss tourists fall into two categories: those who prefer to spend their holidays in Switzerland, and those who go abroad.
The first category consists of people who are too finicky and set in their ways to enjoy a stay in another country: everything beyond Switzerland's borders is too different and--in their view--far inferior. They are much happier walking on perfectly paved and groomed mountain trails, where hardly a blade of grass is out of place, before having their obligatory glass of wysse wii (white wine) at exactly four o'clock on a scenic terrace.
Then you have those who like to venture abroad, but mostly so that they can complain about how much shabbier/ dirtier/poorer/more disorganised everything is. The plumbing is primitive, the water dirty, diseases abound, and not everyone speaks three languages.
Ruining the ruins
Possibly because they are accustomed to Swiss standards of neatness and meticulous micromanagement of their environment, the Swiss expect these same criteria of orderliness wherever they go. Of course, they set themselves up for disappointment because there are very few places on earth where hedges are trimmed with the same geometric precision as is common in Switzerland.
I recall a trip to Rome several years ago, when I saw a group of Swiss tourists contemplating Circus Maximus, an ancient Roman chariot-racing stadium. Because it is well over 2,000 years old (and located in Italy), not much remains of its former glory, except a track overgrown with weeds and, at times, strewn with trash. It is not necessarily a pretty sight--especially to Swiss sensibilities.
"It's such an eye-sore. Why don't they do something with it?" one person from the Swiss group asked.
If this woman had her way (or could have voted on this issue in a referendum), she would have chosen to have the grassy track paved and surround it by geraniums, as well as some benches and a bus stop. Not much would remain of the original ruins, but at least the site would be attractive to the (Swiss) eye.
Not "innocents abroad"
Being a neutral and independent-minded folk, the Swiss don't like to be compared to anyone else. They feel they are unique, select and exclusive.
[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]
Interestingly enough, the Swiss (and non-Americans in general), like to point out that American tourists are loud and uncouth. Certainly, you can't accuse the Swiss of being unrefined, but when it comes to loudness, well, that's...
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